Hurt and Confused,

ASSALAMUALAIKUM,

Recently i have been playing around much, not with toys *of course* with my MIKO. what I do with her? I contact my friends. one of them is Mr. A. He is my friend who have been like a chipsmore. sometimes he sticks around sometimes he went gone. Recently we text.

He kept mentioning that he want me for the near future. something like that. as a girl with 'feelings' of course i'd be flattered when someone say something like that. He said "whatever happens, all I know that in the end I'll look for you," there's 2 meaning within those words.

positively : I want you to be the one for me, but it'll take time.

negatively, I'll keep you first, enjoy my youth and go back to you when i'm serious

at first i was thinking positively. Hey maybe he really likes me and want me for who i am. But now i dont know. maybe he is serious about it. But those words sounded like a promise to me. seriously let me ask you, which girl in this world would act / feel normal when a guy give a statement like that to her. I bet none.

there must be a spark of hope in her heart that he'll treat her specially starting from when he said it. But with him? I don't know. He does text me each morning from now on but it sounded so like friends. well not to say i dont like it. but i dont feel special from his words. and i went to stalk on his social network account and found out something that made me think wrong about him.

i dont know what i'm thinking is true or not. I can't fully blame him for mentioning such statement at me but how i wish he just didn't mention it at all. It made me hope, hoping for attention *extra*. that worries me. He probably have someone else right now. because it sounded like he does. and now i'm feeling like a spare part. 

I hate this feeling ! -.-"